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It's not you, It's me.



Hello there, it's me again. This time lets talk about something that most, if not all of us, can relate to. But before we even get there, can we agree that, if anything, relationships, probably marriages or anything tied to this thing called love could be or actually is one of the most complicated kind of things any person has to maneuver through. A thing that makes you move from thinking with your head to thinking with your heart...stupid, right? But if you think relationships are hard, then campus relationships are way messy. You can trust me on this, I have been there, you probably been too... or you could ask Mathu, because what hasn't he seen.. haha!

But truth about breakups, some can be messy, others will leave you broken for years while others can be way more refreshing. One break up you might never heal from though, is the one that come with a touch of 'it's not you, it's me'. Well, I remember at some point someone really had to tell me that I am such a good person and they don't deserve me. Ati a good person, yaani you mean you can be such a good partner to a point that it could be a deal breaker ama wacha tu.  Sometimes, it makes me believe that it is true, women don't know what they want. Do you though?

Anyone who has had their share of dating might have found themselves on one side or the other of the It's not you, It's me routine. If anything, these words leave you confused and puzzled on what might have gone wrong. No one actually buys this explanation, and why should you? Because, the perpetrator of the 'It's not you...' phrase will quickly tell people that their partner was completely to blame as soon as that partner is out of earshot. I mean, why should I believe you, were we not happy and laughing in the morning...how did we get here Mwende, how?

Well, it actually got me thinking, what's all this talk about it is them? This is what seems to make sense to me. It is true, relationships are not easy. No, lets just say relationships can be hard. But breaking up with the it's you excuse, surely? You can do better. But just so you know, when they say "it's not you, it's me," they could be referring to the fact that they are not ready to make that relationship work, anymore. Or, it could be some cheap, kind of rude, way of shutting down any further discussion. Nothing you say or do can change their minds about this. You can promise to change, you could offer possible ways to improve the relationships but nothing, just nothing can help. Hii imekunywa maji.

Woe unto you if you go out pursuing answers because you might not get any and in case you are lucky enough, you might get the yes and no kind of answers, nothing more. If you find yourself here, just understand nothing you do can salvage the relationship, just dust yourself, get up and move on. Such is life.

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